Homestudy, Part II

We just had the second of our four homestudy visits. This one was one of the individual meetings and I decided to go first. She started by asking me to talk about my life. This is the make-up of our auto-biographies, and since we talked so much at the last visit (it went way over the scheduled hour), I decided to stick with what I wrote. So, I talked about my life, from birth through today, it was pretty matter-of-fact, “I was born here….went to school here…moved there…went to school there”. She also asked about what is important to us, our religious life, and what values we want to instill in our children. It has been a great experience talking to the social worker. She has given us a lot of information and answered most of our questions. On the first visit we talked about the prospect of twins. She explained that most people do not request twins, and that twins are sometimes “put up for adoption” as single children. This made us very hopeful. She told us about another family who adopted twins a year ago and she just did their one-year follow up. This family was initially given a referral of a single child, but our agency contacted the CCAA to promote that the family wanted twins. The family was then given the referral of twins. This story made my day. Of course we will be extremely happy with the referral of a single child (and probably thank China later), however, we are prepared for the placement of two children in our home. Well, I don’t think I’m being quite honest… we would LOVE to have two babies to love and be loved by… and why not? Twins are super special when they occur naturally, but to be able to adopt them, and experience their development, everyday needs & wants, and the gift that children give X2! … well, we’re ready. Our meeting went extremely well. I hope that we will continue speaking with our social worker after this process. There is a one-year meeting that occurs post-adoption, so we have an opportunity to maintain our contact. She mentioned that she is interested in following us, and another couple she is working with (similar to us), to see if, during the adoption process, we find ourselves expecting. I said that we have talked about the possibility, and we are prepared. At the end of the visit she asked, “Is there anything that I haven’t asked, but you want to say, about being a mother.” I think it was the word “mother” that hit me, and tears sprang to my eyes. All I could tell her is that this is something that means more to us than I can put into words.

I’m not sure if I gave her enough material for her report since I ramble on and give more examples than statements, so I hope that Glen will be able to fill up her notes. I told him, “It’s kind of like the finale of Family Feud when one person goes first and gets points, then the other person has to get the rest to win.”

Our next two visits are scheduled for next week. She will meet with Glen first, then, on the last visit, she will “finally” take a tour of the house to account for the square footage and other housing particulars. So, I guess we’ll have to have another cleaning party this weekend! j/k.

We received a letter today from our adoption agency detailing the particulars about the growing wait. It explained that while, the wait is increasing between LID (log-in-date) and referral, there is no way to predict the future wait. We have heard this before. The wait, since late last year, has steadily increased. This is due to the increased number of dossiers going to China. However, previously, the wait has increased to as much as 14 months, then decreased to 6 months. The last group to go pick up their children in China waited 11 ½ months between LID and referral. The next group (whose LID was in August/September 2005) is expected to receive referrals in October 2006. So far, we are okay with the wait we’ve experienced and the wait that we foresee. However, we do hope that we will be traveling at the end of 2007. In order for this to happen, the wait will have to decrease, since we do not expect our dossier to be logged in until November or December of 2006. So, to encourage ourselves, we find any piece of news that alludes to an increase in Chinese babies. For example, this year is the year of the Dog. Glen saw a news story about how there are more marriages than can be handled in China right now because the year of the Dog is a lucky year in which to be married. What does this mean to us? This means that there will be more WBD’ing than usual in China, thus there will be more babies. Now, I know that I am being a little rash about the situation, but, when you, and many others, are waiting, you think about these things. I have another scenario, and this one will only be appreciated by those in hurricane alley. China has experienced a terrific hurricane season (“terrific” being the meteorologist coming out in me). What do you do during hurricanes? Well… anyway, if you too are waiting for a baby, you see what I’m ‘getting at’.

…Please stay tuned, Glen’s homestudy visit coming soon.